As we journey across Central Asia, from Turkey to China, our best, worst and truly terrible travel quotes will be collected here for the world to see.

Matty, seconds before falling down a massive hole: “There’s scant regard for health and safety round here.” 27/05/2013 Dilijan, Armenia.

“Donagh? Like a massive prima-dona?” Tessa, a German girl, trying to get her head around being introduced to the Mongoose. 25/05/2013 Yerevan, Armenia.

Matty after posting the HUGE camera bag home: “It was liking sending my unwanted ginger step-child off to boarding school… Expensive but worth it.” 24/05/2013 Yerevan, Armenia.

Delia, upon waking up in a hostel and reflecting on the behaviour of the previous night: “It was 4am in the hostel and we were behaving like it was the middle of the day.” 16/05/2013, Tbilisi, Georgia.

The Mongoose, in justifying plans to skip the very scenic Fergana Valley in Uzbekistan due to visa restrictions: “By that point we’ll be off our f**king tits on amazing scenery.” 07/05/2013, Kars, Turkey.

The Mongoose, after spending a morning elbowing queue-jumpers in a bid to get on a bus after a sleepless train ride: “The queue is one of society’s great levellers.” 30/04/2013 – Istanbul, Turkey.