A Dummies Guide to Surving Sleeper Trains across Europe

Chugging along rolling countryside, watching green fields turn into slums, and slums grow into cities – there is hardly a more pleasant way to travel. So far, just six days into the big trip, we have already spent about 72 hours on trains.

We’ve sampled everything from posh trains with fancy buffet cars to rickety, smoke-choked carriages where even conductors are puffing away beneath the ‘No Smoking’ signs. We’ve sat, cooped up with strangers in couchettes, swigging wine from the bottle watching the world go by in Hungary, while rationing our last bottle of water meanly travelling through Bulgaria in the baking sun – and we’ve encountered many an unsmiling passport officer at borders, where the trains seemingly sit for hours on end.

Matty, the Mongoose and I will often glance up from our reading, journal writing or travel planning activities to exclaim excitement over the change in landscape, prompting all three of us to rush to the open windows and hang our heads out like panting dogs in a hot car. The phrase ‘travel is about the journey not the destination’ must have been coined by a train enthusiast.

And perhaps the best bit, for me at least, is snuggling down in my little train bed in one country, falling alseep to the reassuring chug of the train, and waking up in another country altogether.

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Matty showing you how it's done on our Budapest to Bucharest sleeper train

But, there are you things you need to know before embarking on such trips. So, without further ado here are my handy tips for inter-railing across Europe on sleeper trains.

1) Shop, shop, shop! Buy all your provisions for the journey before you get to the station – you can never be guaranteed of a buffet car… as was the case on our 17 hour journey to Istanbul from Bucharest. Upon boarding a two-carriage train with just a small picnic for lunch, we realised the only facilities on the train consisted of a man in a white vest selling flat, warm fizzy water. In desperation this saw me buy Bulgarian Levs from a stranger and Matty and Donagh leg it across a random Bulgarian station mid-journey, with just five minutes to spare to get provisions.

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They returned with this. And let me tell you Flirt Vodka will liven up any journey.

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Matty and the Mongoose train feasting at a previous, better planned picnic

2) If you spy any rich-looking westerners, struggling with their over-sized suitcases, offer to help them. They will probably tip you, which will help buy those much needed drinks in the buffet car.

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In fact, the tip was big enough for three large Weiss biers on our Munich to Salzburg train. True story.

3) Take lots of photos…

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Train photos are cool. Here’s some of me and the Mongoose taken by Matty…

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And a few more snaps…

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4) When you go into the sleeper car, space is tight and you’re often sharing it with six people. Get everything you need for the night out of your rucksack before putting it into the luggage shelves above the top bunks – once it’s up, it ain’t coming down. Wash bag, towel, PJs etc…

5) Once the bags are up, sit down on the lower couchette with your roomies for the night- ask if you can push the middle couchette up to avoid having to hunch. You never know, they may just give you the best tips for your next destination… and at least it will avoid the whole carraige bunking down for bed at 8pm.

6) TAKE EAR PLUGS. TAKE EAR PLUGS. TAKE EAR PLUGS. Did I mention, pack some ear plugs? The snoring can be phenomenal… personally I think snoring tests should be carried out before tickets are issued and the snorers should be made to sleep together in a tiny little couchette where they can snore in harmony like a six-piece nasal band, making the kind of music nobody else wants to hear.

8) Open your eyes and enjoy… the train will take you through communites and parts of countries you would never otherwise come across. It’s magical.

Why you should visit Budapest…

Every now and then you visit a place that you don’t just love, you adore. You walk through the streets but really you want to skip, you pause somewhere and you want time to stop, you go for coffee and imagine returning every Saturday morning with a paper… when you live there.

It doesn’t happen to me very often but when it does it hits me hard. Melbourne, Beirut, Lisbon, Brighton and Bristol. I could live in any of them. And now I have a new one for the list.. Budapest.

The last (and first) time I visited Budapest was 10 years ago and I was at university, travelling for the first time with a group of eight friends. But when I returned this time I felt like I was seeing it for the very first time. I’m not sure if the city has changed, if my memory is terrible or I just saw the city with a youthful naivety all those years ago… but wow, Budapest is ace.

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The skyline is exactly how I remember it. The fabulous Danube River swims between Buda and Pest, with each side boasting impressive architectural delights.

But the city has an underbelly that passed me by on my last visit… Dozens of old ruinous buildings, once home to a vibrant Jewish community before WWII, have been transformed into weird and wonderful underground bars and restaurants. The kind where No Smoking signs are made from lace and people sit in bath tubs while sipping G&T’s.

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Matty and Donagh in Szimpla Kerta - the 'daddy' of the ruinous bars

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Yes that's right, she is sitting in a bath tub

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And if youre not sure what to order, try the Palinka hanging from the ceiling in a dispenser.

Even public transport is a little something out of the ordinary. The eclectic, electric street cars are like something out of a novel and the metro is so retro that it’s back in fashion.

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On one of the city's many fabulous bridges

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Funky blue seats line the platform

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The city has a great big whopping list of ‘cool things to see’ including a palace that looks like a parliament and a parliament that looks like a palace, as well as a museum devoted to the history of communism ‘terror’. But when the sightseeing all gets too much and you just want to, I don’t know, sit back in a 40 degrees (Celsius) ancient bath, then fret not because Budapest has already run it and put in the bubbles for you.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the Gellert Baths. The ornate complex, which dates back to the early 20th century, has an outdoor pool (surrounded by deck chairs), an indoor pool and about five mosaic-decorated thermal baths with water at various temperatures from about 35 to 40 degrees Celsius. For those that are feeling brave there is, what can only be described as, the most painfully hot steam room I have ever come across… followed by a plunge pool so icy cold that it leaves your skin pink and tingling as if repeatedly slapped by a pair of particularly brutal plump, bare hands.

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And so it was, with tingling skin and slight hangovers we boarded the fabulous metro system for the last time to catch the sleeper train to Bucharest and continue our journey east.

But as we did so, I made a silent promise to return, wondering how long it would take me to master the Hungarian language and which coffee shop would become my local. Budapest, we have some unfinished business to tend to…

Where to stay in Budapest?

We stayed at the Wombats Hostel, which I can heartily recommend… it’s on the right side of town, in the heart of the ruinous bars and funky nightlife – but the hostel is also wonderfully clean and spacious. Our six-bed dorm cost just €10 per night, including breakfast amd free wifi. They even give you lockers for your valuables in the dorm.

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Home for the night

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Our dorm bathroom... I'm sure they were never this swanky last timeI travelled.

World In Pictures: Paris, Munich and Salzburg in 48 hours

For me travel is about immersing yourself into another world, exploring new cultures and embracing different ways of thinking. But right now we’re not really doing that… We’re just a-hoppin’, skippin’ and runnin’ across Europe before starting a four month journey across the Silk Road from Turkey to China.

So, since leaving the UK on Tuesday we’ve travelled from London to Paris, to Munich and Salzburg – and tonight we shall be dining in Budapest. Of course I say that in the loosest sense of the word as we have rediscovered our old travelling ways and have been frequenting curry shacks and markets for ‘supper’. I even refused to use the loo at Munich Station because it cost a €1 – I don’t mind spending a penny… But a Euro?! Outraged.

Anyway, in keeping with our fleeting pace across Europe I thought a ‘World in Pictures’ post would be most appropriate (where I write less and let the pictures give an overview). We can’t pretend to have got under the skin of these cities but my, we’ve had great fun surfing the surface.

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Our time in Paris totalled just 3 hours… We decided to spend it on the Montmartre, picnicking outside the Sancrecerre. This guy turned up with a football.

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He was impressive.

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So was the picnic. Matty wore stripes especially for the occasion.

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Then it was off to Munich on this sexy sleeper train.

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We threw ourselves right in the deep end with this wonderful lederhosen-adorned tour guide.

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And concluded dat bratwurst ist gut.

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The handsome Feldherrnnhalle in the Odeonsplatz square, Munich.

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Lovely old state building with huge glass extensions, Munich.

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The Englischer Garten, in the heart of Munich is the biggest public garden in Europe. People also sunbathe naked. I went there to gaze at the colourful fauna. Obviously.

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When in Rome… We drank beer in Munich. We finished beer in Munich. Here’s me through Matty’s beer goggles.

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And we’re in Salzburg! No, I don’t really get this either.

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Donagh looking pretty with the flowers in Salzburg.

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Salzburg Cathedral is a baroque beauty.

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Inside the cathedral…

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The beef goulash with dumpling was mighty fine indeed.

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A view of Salzburg from the impenetrable fortress of Hohensalzburg Castle, Salzburg.

I am still coming to terms with the fact I have visited Salzburg without doing the Sound of Music tour… Tragic combination of travelling with two boys and having only an afternoon in the city. Somebody pass me a schnaps.

Everything Must Go! Selling your world to travel the world.

It was when I started blowing the ‘raving horn’ at a recent car boot sale and screaming: “Everything must go – 50p – everything must go,” that I realised I had reached a new level of desperation.

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With just half an hour to go, I declared that everything could go for 50p – nothing was sacred.

My mother looked slightly incredulous. “Even these?” she asked, pointing at my collection of unopened Clinique miniatures – the last remaining evidence of all the ‘second skin care items’ I have purchased in a bid to get the all-so-necessary free gift.

“Especially those,” I glowered.

A lady came over (who had already bought one of Matt’s jackets for £2.50 after making me try it on to convince herself it was actually quite feminine) and picked up my bottle of fancy-pants tinted, shimmery SPF 15 sun cream.

“I’ll give you 30p for this,” she offered. I grabbed her pennies gladly. I’d loved that cream but alas, the lid had long since gone and it would be sure to turn everything in my rucksack into a brown, shimmery mess if it came with me. It had to go. Like all my other half used, much loved lotions and potions.

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That’s me with my good friend Carly. She works in sales and was responsible for about 80% of our sales that day… Watching her sell Love Actually as a porn film to a middle aged man was a personal highlight.

As the morning drew to a close I ran off to collect more charity bags from the car boot organiser to avoid returning home with the loveless goods. We filled up about 6 bin liners with all my wise little purchases from years gone by, ignoring the slightly racist man opposite selling bird tables who was muttering something about Bob Geldof ripping off charities and how, if it wasn’t for immigrants, he wouldn’t be selling bird tables at a car boot sale.

Truth be told, I’d have given even more to charity if I’d been permitted but the charity shop at the end of the road sort of asked me to stay away earlier this week.

My recent giveaways on Facebook have been more successful – friends have gladly taken my old Tupperware, spices and condiments – although I’ve had less interest in an assortment of coat hangers I kindly advertised to my loved ones last night.

And perhaps slightly more worrying than that, is the lack of interest we’ve had in the house so far. Ah yes, that little thing. The small matter of covering the mortgage while we swan around deepest darkest centra Asia.

Almost three years ago exactly we bought our lovely little three-bed terraced house in Hyson Green, Nottingham… eating pizza with our hands and supping bubbles to celebrate picking up the keys. For three years we loved, cherished and thoroughly enjoyed our little home – but now it’s time for someone else to live on the door step of the best curries that Nottingham has to offer.

Yes, I have written this blog to try and convince you to rent our house. So without further ado (putting on my best Lloyd Grossman accent), ‘who lives in a house like this…?’

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My, what a LOVELY door… And great bins.

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And with a courtyard perfect for the looming summer’s evenings.

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Through the keyhole and into the lounge… (The rug is still up for grabs for first available collector etc).

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A nice, spacious kitchen/diner. Are you sold yet?

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Crikey, look at the fitted wardrobe on that. Just like a scene out of Clueless. Quite.

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“Darling, we simply must live here,” I hear you cry.

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Top floor bedroom.

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Best loo north of the River Trent. Fact.

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And a room for little Joey.

By the time you’ve reached this point, I’m sure the agent’s line will already be busy – you should have called after reading the first line. Those of you that are now considering emigrating from Oz and elsewhere to Nottingham, I can assure you that you will not miss the beach life. The Old Market Square is transformed into a beach (fully equipped with deck chairs and a bar) every summer. You will be very happy here.

Meanwhile, we are now a mere six days from beginning our big journey from Nottingham to ‘nam across the Silk Road. We have spent weeks selling everything we own for just a few pennies, cleaning out a house that we love but has no tenants yet and wondering what to do with the Rover 25 that should never, ever be combined with a moustache in any circumstances.

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Yes, you too could look this good. Just over 100,000 miles on the clock, 4 months MOT and guaranteed sex appeal. I’ll even throw in the car for free. All yours for just £400.

In sum, giving everything up to travel the world at an age when you own more than a few bags of clothes and a wok (circa 2006) is tricky… Truth be told my mother is having kittens. There are, of course, risks, worries and concerns but then again we wouldn’t be doing any of this if we wanted an easy life.

Instead we are choosing to travel a corner of the world where hotel televisions sometimes double up as CCTV cameras and visa rules are harder to follow than camel tracks in the scorching desert sand. It’s not meant to be an easy ride… But something tells me it will be a little bit more memorable than a bottle of fancy-pants, shimmery suntan cream.

Bring on the adventure x

World in Pictures: Collecting Christmas Tree Decorations

Souvenir shopping is a tricky business. The vibrant, bustling markets of India and Morocco leave me mentally decorating my home in glittering mirrors and patchwork cloth… I clutch abstract wooden carvings and lavishly decorated masks, convinced that they are exactly what my inner city Victorian terrace is lacking. But for some reason they never look quite so at home again as they did on that market stall.

Don’t get me wrong I’ve had some successes. Our huge green, hand painted Moroccan fruit bowl looks like it was made for our kitchen table and our Balinese coconut shell stores sugar just as well as anything that Ikea churns out… but, you get what I mean, it doesn’t always work.

However, have you ever noticed that EVERYTHING looks good on a Christmas tree? If it’s bright and colourful and a little bit garish, the chances are it will work just beautifully on the festive tree, if its a bit dark, sinister or just plain odd, it will probably work too – just like my Kenyan mask here.

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I think this bright blue silk butterfly, which I picked up in Malaysia, more than confirms my point.

So ever since my first big travelling trip in 2006, I have collected Christmas tree decorations from around the world.

And next year I will go on my biggest Crimbo decoration shop yet… in fact I will be giving up my job in a bid to collect tree ornaments from France, Austria, Hungary, Romania, Turkey, Georgia, Armenia, Azerbaijan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, Tajikistan, China and Vietnam.

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This little lady at the top of my tree comes from a previous trip to ‘nam

Admittedly, we are not just going to buy Christmas decorations, it is a trip we have wanted to do for years – and finally the time is right. But if truth be told, this Christmas feels a little strange… It’s going to be our last Crimbo in the UK for some time and perhaps the last ever in this little house.

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Our trip from Hyson Green to Ho Chi Minh City (aka Nottingham to ‘nam) will begin in April and take about four to five months and we shall be doing it all overland… from tram, to train to tuk-tuk. We’ll rent out our house and find some new digs in Vietnam, or at least that’s the plan.

So there will be plenty more tales to come on this blog in the next year, but for now let me leave you with some souvenirs of beautiful trips gone by. And if I don’t write again before Christmas itself… Have a bloody good one.

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The latest addition to the collection – the Bali ball… 2012

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This little angel was the only thing not corrupted on the football tour to Riga, Latvia… 2009

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From London with love… 2007

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All the way to Scotland… 2012

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My Indian elephant. The country I loved enough to get inked… 2006

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My Deutsche fairy from Hamburg on my very first press trip… 2008

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As if climbing his way to the top, this furry Koala is a Crimbo tree must… 2007

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And who says you can’t decorate your tree in shells? Fiji… 2007

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I heart Laos… 2006

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A Moroccan slipper and a Thai delight… 2008 and 2006

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And an angelic gift from Matty. Ljubljana, Slovenia… 2010

Merry Christmas and safe travels for 2013 x

World in Pictures: Istanbul – The Accidental Holiday

Travel is never without hiccups. Or at least it isn’t, when Matty and I are involved. I’ve already mentioned the time we got stranded up a Lebanese mountain, and now I’ll tell you about the time we were meant to be flying to Portugal and accidentally ended up in Turkey.

It was a cold frosty December morning when we arrived at East Midlands Airport and we were fully intending to run the Lisbon half marathon two days later. We had all our running gear packed, we’d been (kind of) training for months and we were sort of prepared and very excited about becoming “international runners”. Having been to Lisbon before, we had taken a fairly gung-ho attitude with the whole planning side of things and didn’t buy our city guide until we got to the airport, where we excitedly sat down and starting planning.

Sipping water (like athletes) we kept an eye on the flight board, which continued to show no information about our flight. Eventually we got up and asked someone.

“No, your flight has been cancelled,” we were told.
“All flights to Spain and Portugal are cancelled due to air traffic control strikes.”

Got to love the continentals with all their strikes. Scratching our heads and realising we would not be running in the Lisbon half marathon after all, we wandered over to the bar and sank a couple of large glasses of Sauvignon Blanc. Then we tackled the Easyjet desk.

It was like something out of a reality TV show – people doing their best angry faces, lots of loud phone calls being made in a variety of languages, there were even tears. Not from us mind you, we were just hoping they would fly us somewhere – anywhere a little bit warmer – plus I love airports, and felt like I was already on holiday (the Savvy B helped).

When we got to the front the woman looked up wearily and apologised for the cancelled flight.

“No worries,” we said cheerfully. “Where can you send us instead?”

She looked surprised, smiled and tapped away on her computer.

“Istanbul? Flight leaves in two hours,” she suggested.

Result. We were now flying twice the distance for the same price. So, clutching our freshly printed flight tickets, we headed back to WH Smiths to swap our unneeded Lisbon book with a much needed Istanbul one (much to the check-out girl’s amusement).

And that is why we ended up in Istanbul with nothing but the clothes on our backs and our running kits. And no, we didn’t run once.

Enjoy the pics x

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Mmmm…. Turkish coffee should be adored by all

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The markets are a dazzling array of colours

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The super impressive Sultanahmet Camii (aka the Blue Mosque)

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As if oblivious to the dozens of tourists in the Blue Mosque

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The antique tram that runs down the main shopping throughfare Istikal Caddesi (and me)

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Matty doing his research

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The stunning interior of the Byzantine church Aya Sofya, which was the largest enclosed space in the world for almost 1,000 years (anyone know what is now?!)

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Tee hee, this bird which was happily perched on a boulder at the top of the Gelata Tower, which offers superb views across the Golden Horn to the Old City, flew off after taking this picture… and landed on Matty’s head. Priceless.

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City centre fishing: Dozens of fishermen line the Galata Bridge in Istanbul

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The city has som fab street art…

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Wicked arcitecture to be found at every turn

We fell in love with Istanbul, aside from its spectacular mosques and rich culture, it’s riddled with superb shops, bars, restaurants and cafes. The only city in the world to straddle two continents, perched across the Bosphorus that divides Asia from Europe, it really does feel like a wonderful mixing pot of many different worlds.

Travelling Lebanon: Rocks, Punctures and Guns

There haven’t been many moments in my life where I’ve thought ‘Oh God, I might die here’. Admittedly there have been plenty of times (often on stunning white sandy beaches or at Michelin starred restaurants) where I have thought, ‘Oh God, I could die here’, which is, of course, a totally different thing.

But no, I haven’t feared a great deal for my life in the past – well, apart from the time a load of ladders flew off the top of a van while I was driving about 70 mph on the M25.

That was quite scary. And then there was the time that Matty, the Mongoose and I hired a car to drive around Lebanon. The Mongoose, aka Donagh, is our travelling buddy who we met many years ago in Australia and have since shared some wonderful adventures with.

And Lebanon was definitely one of them. An intoxicating mix of complex history, the friendliest people on earth and an uncertain future, Lebanon often feels like it’s just a day away from another bloody and horrendous war. Vulnerable and volatile, housing thousands of refugees and the infamous Hezbollah, many watch the little country closely, arguing the first sign of trouble in the Middle East will be seen here.

Nevertheless as you stroll its beautiful towns and villages, scattered with some of the largest and most impressive Roman ruins outside of Rome, it is hard to feel afraid.

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Just a tiny fragment of the impressive Roman ruins in Baalbeck, Lebanon

Today Beirut is heaving with funky bars, clubs and cafes and is home to a burgeoning bourgeoisie, but the gunshot-wounded buildings serve as a stark reminder of the bullets that fell like rain as recently as six years ago. (In 2006 the Israelis and Hezbollah engaged in a 33-day war, which saw Hezbollah fire a hail of rockets into Israel and the Israeli’s bomb towns and villages across Lebanon – after eight Israeli soldiers had been kidnapped and killed by Hezbollah. And that was just a flash in the pan after the 25 year-strong civil war that ripped through the country until the early 1990s).

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‘The Lebanese do not save their money,’ one girl told me in a Beirut bar.
‘We like to live life to the full, we spend all our money every day because you never know when it will end.’

Nevertheless, it was not a country we travelled timidly. We were there in September 2010 and felt surprisingly safe, embracing everything it had to offer – in our little white hire car.

We had been grounded in Bcharre, in the gorgeous World Heritage listed Qadisha Valley, for a few days because Matty had been struck down with the inevitable stomach bug that he always insists on getting whenever we visit foreign lands. But eventually we convinced him to make the short drive over the mountain range and Bekaa Valley to Baalbeck, land of the impressive Roman ruins. (The Mongoose doesn’t drive and we had decided not to put me on the licence for health and safety reasons), so Matty tensed his stomach and off we set.

It was a stunning drive, and as we weaved up one side of the mountain we were rewarded with magnificent views. We reached the top and slowly began to zig-zag down the other side. Or at least that was the plan. After one small zig, before we could begin to zag, we hit disaster. In the form of rocks.

The crumbling mountainside had gathered on the roadside and we had driven right over it. Almost immediately we heard the tyres pop and realised we were no longer in control of the car. Slowly Matty brought it to a stop and we surveyed the damage.

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The front and rear right-hand tyres were completely flat. It soon dawned on us that we would not be able to get the car down the mountain, we were well and truly marooned. Then we realised we only had about half a litre of water, a few scraps of food, no shade and no real idea of what to do.

So we took some pictures.

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The boys wandered down the road a little way to try and assess how long it would take to walk to safety. It was only about 11am but the winding road looked endless and with so little to eat and drink, we decided not to risk it.

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We rang the hire company and were told that lo and behold, we had breakdown cover and that they would send someone from Beirut. It would take a ‘couple of hours’ but to just sit tight, help was on the way!

So we got our books and sarongs out and perched on the side of the mountain to enjoy the view. Well at least the Mongoose and I did, Matty was clutching his stomach, looking longingly at our half-empty bottle of water (and yes it was very half-empty, there was no half-full about it) – and worrying his next toilet trip.

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As we lay there soaking up the rays, the occasional truck would drive past, crowded with men with large guns sticking out the side. We flinched a bit when the first couple drove past but soon got used to them, some even stopped to chat, clearly bemused to find tourists sunbathing on the mountainside.

After about two and a half hours we called the car hire company.

‘Yes, help is on the way,’ they assured us.

An hour later we had the same conversation. And after another hour passed we were told they were nearly here.

Then like a gift from the Gods, a man pulled over over and opened his boot to reveal rows and rows of sweet, sticky nuts and dried fruits. A food delivery!

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The Mongoose couldn’t keep his hands off the poor man’s nuts…

We hungrily gazed at the treats, sampling a handful of different nuts before enquiring about the price. He wanted to charge us about £10 for a bag of nuts. We laughed and we sneered, we used all of our finest tactics to haggle him down. It didn’t work. We were stuck on a mountain, he had us cornered and he knew it.

Disgusted and hungry, I took my mountain seat once more and waved him off. I would not pay £10 for a bag of nuts – even if it was the last thing I did. And I started to wonder if it might be.

We called again. This time we were told our mountain-rescue-chariot was lost.
‘There are many roads over the mountain,’ the lady at the car hire shop told us.
‘He’s been up and down a few but can’t find you.’

‘But,’ we protested, ‘There’s only one road between Bcharre and Baalbeck on the map you gave us with the car. And that’s where we are. On that road. We’re on the blue line.’

But it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Meanwhile, the water was running dangerously low and I started seeing cashew nuts on the horizon. The sun was getting lower in the sky.

We made a few more calls and had the same sort of conversation. And we sat. And waited. And finished our water.

And then suddenly, just as the day was turning into dusk, our chariot arrived. We were being rescued! I practically hugged the spare tyres that he carried out of the van and danced around him as he wrenched up the car and removed our deflated rings of rubber with ease. After hours of waiting we were back up and running. Hungry and thirsty we were keen to finish our journey to Baalbeck in time for dinner.

‘You cannot go down this mountain now, it is too dark,’ our rescuer explained.
‘Dangerous people on this side of the mountain at night’, he said pointing down the roadside.
‘You must go back.’
He explained that we were actually now in Hezbollah land and must leave as soon as possible.

Realising for the first time that we may have actually been quite lucky, we nodded in agreement and followed our rescue chariot back the way we had come. Choosing not to go back to Bcharre, we stopped off at the Cedars, a ski resort that was a little closer and home to the country’s famous Cedar trees – a national emblem that can be found on the Lebanese flag.

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The Lebanese flag painted on a wall in Tripoli, Lebanon

It was a balmy summer’s evening and the ski resort had a real ghost town feel to it. As we gingerly stepped inside an empty little restaurant, which had walls covered with framed pictures of skiers, we found a man who greeted us like his first guests since the snow had melted.

We took over a large table in the corner and the happy restaurant owner, once a famous skier he told us, covered every inch of it in mezze dishes.

It was a feast for Kings. There was rich, creamy hummus, marinated barbecued meats, delicious salads, soft warm breads, stuffed vine leaves, the smokey flavours of baba ganush (a tasty combination of mashed Aubergine and olive oil) and much more.

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The next day we managed to make it to Baalbeck, and about five days later we returned to Beirut where we were staying with a friend of the Mongoose’s.

‘Good to see you’ve made it back ok’ he said as he opened his front door.
‘Did you hear what happened to the tourists on the mountain?’ He asked.
We thought it was a stitch up. But it wasn’t.

About 24 hours after our escapade a couple of Polish tourists had been kidnapped from almost exactly the same spot. They were thrown into the back of a car and because the driver failed to stop at one of the many police patrol checks that line the roads in Lebanon, the police opened fire on them. The police killed the driver but remarkably the Polish tourists, although shaken, were unscathed and freed.

It was hard to swallow. Later that night, as we sampled some of Lebanon’s fine wines in one of Beirut’s funky little bars, we reflected on how unbelievably lucky – and incredibly stupid we had been.

But actually I hadn’t really feared for my life once up that mountain. It’s so easy to feel safe in Lebanon and forget about the conflict that is bubbling away under the surface. The mounting volatility is well disguised and hides behind the sheer beauty of the country and its kind warm-hearted residents, who will invite you in for a cup of tea or drive you 10 miles to find your lost camera (yes that happened) without wanting anything in return.

On the other hand, the M25 is just plain dangerous.

Nusa Lembongan: Dream Beach

There’s a beach on the little island of Nusa Lembongan, just off Bali, called Dream Beach. That is its actual name, it’s written on the map and everything. Dream Beach. There’s no beating around the bush with a name like that is there?

As we made our way across the island on our rickety scooter, which had me sucking in my stomach to help the bike up some of steep hills, I got very excited about Dream Beach. In my mind I could hear the theme tune for Radio 4’s Desert Island Discs and the dulcet tones of Kirsty Young. Whenever I listen to that programme I always imagine being stranded on a beautiful castaway island with white sands, clear water and coconut-heavy palm trees swaying in the background.

So that’s my dream beach. And I’d get to take a luxury item, which would be my camera since you’re asking. Matty was just focussing on getting us up the hills so I’m not sure he spent much time deliberating over his dream beach.

Nusa Lembongan is a really beautiful island, which ticks along at much slower pace than most parts of Bali. Randomly, it exports seaweed all over the world – they use an agent from it to help thicken ice cream. So even if you’ve not heard of Nusa Lembongan, you’ve probably eaten a little bit of it. Large parts of the shore are carved up by picket fences into ‘seaweed farms’ and you can see, and smell, the stuff drying out all over the island.

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It seems to come in all shades of colours.

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And a huge 85% of the population work in the industry.

But anyhow, I digress. I wanted to tell you about Dream Beach. So, Matty and I were hanging onto this scooter (well actually he was driving it and I was hanging on) and trying to navigate our way there. There are only about three roads on the island so even we couldn’t get too lost and eventually we turned off our dusty little path and found ourselves at the top of a cliff looking down onto an idyllic white sandy cove. We had reached Dream Beach.

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I think it lives up to its name. I lived the dream.

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But it gets better. Sitting on the cliff, overlooking this beach of dreams, there is a big infinity swimming pool surrounded by comfy loungers. It belongs to a (posh by our standards) resort but for a mere 50,000 Indonesian Rupiahs (about £3.50) they will let anyone in. Even us.

We were travelling Bali budget style. We had allocated cash for Bintang… Seafood even. But fancy £3.50 sunbeds? It felt totally extravagant. But we did it. And it was marvellous. And as we lay there sunning ourselves and looking down on the stunning beach below, I couldn’t help but think how much more enjoyable it was than a return tram ride in Nottingham. And that costs £3.70.

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So now I’m torn over my one luxury item… Camera or plush resort with infinity pool?

PS Mushroom Bay, with its slightly less ostentatious name, is also stunning and well worth checking out.

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Travel tips
You can stay at Dream Beach Huts for about 600,000 Rupiahs a night. There’s also plenty of lovely accommodation around Mushroom Bay. We stayed further along the coast in the Jungutbatu area, where the accommodation is much cheaper and still on the beach.

We stayed at Puri Nusa, paying only 200,000 a night – they had cheaper and more expensive rooms too. The room was fine but its real selling point was its lovely restaurant terrace that overlooks the west coast of the island – the perfect sunset spot.

You can also cross over into the neighbouring tiny island of Nusa Ceningan, which is connected by bridge. People throw themselves off a cliff here into the ocean (for fun we are told, not suicide). We opted for a diet coke instead.

World in Pictures: The Colours of Bali

If I had to choose one word to describe Bali it would be colourful. Every day vibrant colours drew me in like a magpie to diamonds… The dazzling shades of pinks, reds and yellows in its flowers, the ripe, rich greens of its rice paddies and its brilliant blue skies. To put it simply, I fell in love with its colours.

Even the greyest of pavements are lit up by dozens of colourful offerings for the Hindu Gods. Seemingly discarded on the floor, they are found everywhere from shops and restaurants to outside hotel doors. We found them at the top of Bali’s highest mountain Gunung Agung, lying on the sandy beaches (which Matty accidentally trampled on, burning his foot on the incense – but no one seemed to mind) and precariously balanced on taxi meters.

Varying in shapes and sizes, the offerings can be as small as a few grains of rice on a banana leaf, or as lavish as a full size meal, decorated in orchids with sweet, floral scented incense burning. Some had brightly packaged biscuits, most were made with rice and flowers, but all were beautifully colourful, decorating miles of pavements across the island.

It was quite magical to watch women, carrying trays of burning incense and brightly coloured flowers, bless each offering as they laid it down. Silent and transfixed, their mouths moved as their fingers sprinkled water over the small presentation, as if they were casting a beautiful, enchanting spell.

Here’s a few of our favourite picture that I hope convey some of the colours of Bali…

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And these beautiful structures, which I think must be made from palm leaves, lined many of the streets and were found outside homes, shops and restaurants. Most had small platforms at eye level that were laden with offerings.

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It is an island blessed with vibrant natural beauty…

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And the sunsets, which paint the sky with colours at dusk, are second to none.

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We found dazzling displays of colour when we least expected it… Like this golden shrine at the top of Gunung Agung.

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And perhaps unsurprisingly, the Balinese traditional dress is also colourful.

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As is everything else from their dogs to their graveyards…

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Whatever the spell, I’ve fallen under it.

Where to eat in Denpasar? Everywhere.

I often wish I was a cow. More specifically, a cow with four stomachs. Can you imagine going off to have lunch somewhere and filling one stomach, while deliberating over your next few restaurants for the remaining three stomachs? In fact, by the time the fourth one was full, the first stomach would probably be ready for its next fill. You could literally eat all day.

The irony, of course, is that while we have so many different flavours and cuisines with which to fill our one stomach, cows only have grass. Life’s a bitch.

Denpasar, the capital of Bali, is definitely a cow’s haven. If I could be a cow for one day, I think I would be one in Denpasar. Admittedly, the city’s busy, traffic-choked streets are a bit of a shock to the system after so much horizontal time around the island’s coastline, but it has hundreds of little warungs, in which to seek refuge.

We travelled to Denpasar from Bali’s infamous town Kuta, purely for lunch. We had a wonderful taxi driver who regaled tales of life in his village and was seemingly bemused by our desire to travel to Denpasar (more than an hour in hideous traffic) just for lunch. We explained we had heard the food was very good and very cheap.

‘But after the taxi price, it is the same price in Kuta,’ he said, chuckling to himself. He had a point there, but Kuta is where food goes to die (there will be a blog on this to follow).

With dozens and dozens of shack-like warungs, lining the city’s roads, heaving with locals, it was tricky to know which one to go for. We had been recommended a little place called Cak Asm and as we only had one chance to get it right, unlike cows, we headed straight there.

I was delighted to find we were the only tourists there, always a good sign.

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There’s Matty sticking out like a sore thumb.

Nevertheless, the menu was largely translated into English and we were given our own little waitress’ notepad to jot down our order. The food was seriously cheap. The Indonesian classic dish of Nasi Goreng (delicious fried rice with an egg on top) was a mere 9,000 Rupiahs (50p), about three times cheaper than we’d found it elsewhere. And the calamari was a mere 21,000 Rupiahs (£1.40). They were basically giving it away. We ordered more dishes than two people really should.

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Our food arrived and adequately covered the table. We’d ordered a chicken in chilli sauce, which was served in a tasty chilli infused oyster sauce, providing a delightful spice kick and tasty contrast to the other dishes. The vegetable stir fry was light and crunchy and the Nasi Goreng tasted more like a Chinese stir fried rice than the Balinese dish, but was good nevertheless.

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However, it was the calamari that really stole the show.

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I’m quite fussy when it comes to fried calamari. I like the squid to be soft and not rubbery, and I like the batter to be crispy – not wet – a nice, firm crispy crust, thank you very much. But not too thick or heavy. Oh, and ideally some fresh lemon to squeeze and coarse black pepper to grind, while it’s all still hot from the fryer.

This was better than any of that. The crisp, firm batter, which we were told is a mix of eggs and garlic, was so heavenly it needed no accompaniment. The calamari alone was worth the taxi ride. It was beautiful.

To complete our food odyssey, we headed to the local market. We’d read that it was worth exploring and were not disappointed. Almost like an old multi-storey car park, the market is absolutely rammed full of every fruit, vegetable and spice that you can think of. Few tourists seem to make it to Denpasar so as we weaved our way through the gritty, warehouse-like nooks and crannies of the market, we were very much a spectacle. There was a lot of oohing, ahhhhing and shrieking from old woman. One asked for a kiss from me, while another shoved flowers up Matt’s nose. We think they were all gestures of love.

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